If you think you’ve fully assimilated into American culture just because you’ve eaten a burger, filed your taxes, or yelled “Let’s go Cowboys!”, think again. If you’ve not yet experienced the DART bus and train system in Dallas, your American initiation is incomplete. Forget Hollywood’s shiny portrayals of America; the real raw, unfiltered, and sometimes bewildering essence of daily life can be found within the confines of public transportation.

The Challenge of the Schedule (Or Lack Thereof)

One of the first things you must understand is that the DART schedule is merely a suggestion, not a promise. You might show up at the bus stop on time, only to find that your bus came three minutes early and left you behind. Other times, you’ll stand there for 20 minutes, refreshing the DART app in disbelief, only for two buses of the same route to show up at once like they’re part of a comedy sketch. The drivers, of course, will provide no explanation for this phenomenon.

The Drivers: A Mixed Bag of Emotions

DART drivers operate on a spectrum of moods. You might get the friendly driver who greets everyone like it’s Sunday morning at church. “Good morning, y’all! Hope everyone’s having a blessed day!” They’ll wait for elderly passengers to settle in, nod approvingly at your transit card, and maybe even throw in a “Y’all stay safe now!” as you step off.

But then, there’s the driver who has clearly been doing this job for too long. Their eyes scream, “I don’t get paid enough for this.” They don’t acknowledge greetings, they don’t care about your problems, and if you’re fumbling for your fare when you step on, you’ll be met with an exasperated sigh loud enough to shake the bus windows.

These drivers accelerate like they’re piloting a spaceship about to break orbit, sending standing passengers lurching backward. If you’ve ever held onto a pole for dear life while your coffee spilled into your lap, congratulations—you’ve met one of them. They wield the bus doors like weapons, slamming them shut the millisecond you’re within arm’s reach, just to remind you that fate (and the DART schedule) waits for no one.

The Unofficial Riders: The Bums of DART

Every seasoned rider knows them—the bums who ride just to ride. They have no destination, no ticket, and often, no shoes. They shuffle in with an air of seasoned expertise, claiming their usual seat with the confidence of a man who pays rent on it. Their favorite pastime? People-watching, of course. They take in every passenger, mentally categorizing them into “safe,” “suspicious,” and “potential cigarette donors.”

Sometimes, they’ll strike up a conversation with you, unfazed by your earphones, book, or obvious lack of interest. If you’re really lucky, you’ll catch one delivering a passionate speech about conspiracy theories involving the government, aliens, and Beyoncé. And if you’re even luckier, they might just pull out handwritten notes and newspaper clippings to support their claims, because no good conspiracy comes without citations.

The Art of Dodging Fares

There is an elite class of people who have mastered the art of not paying for the bus. These are the “pretend searchers.” You’ll recognize them as soon as they step on. With an Oscar-worthy performance, they pat their pockets and search their bags in slow motion, eyebrows furrowed as if they just realized their wallet teleported to another dimension. The driver watches them for a few seconds before waving them on, already tired of the charade. The moment they sit down, their wallet miraculously reappears—but only for buying snacks from a vendor at the next stop.

The Unsolicited Conversationalists

On DART, silence is a luxury you don’t always get to enjoy.

There are people who will talk to you even if you’re clearly avoiding eye contact. A simple nod can turn into a full conversation about their childhood trauma, their ex who took the dog, or their theory that the world is flat. But these chatty commuters have nothing on the people who hold full-blown conversations—with themselves. They argue, laugh, and even pause to respond as if an imaginary friend is whispering in their ear. You can only sit there, pretending to text on your phone, praying that their attention doesn’t shift to you.

The Unexpected Entertainment

Occasionally, your DART experience will include live entertainment. Whether it’s a passenger who randomly starts beatboxing, a man reciting poetry about his lost love, or an impromptu argument between two strangers that escalates into personal insults, there’s never a dull moment. Some days, you might even get a preacher who delivers an entire sermon between stops, warning of the end times while passengers pretend to be asleep.

Final Thoughts

Riding the DART is not just about getting from Point A to Point B. It’s a cultural experience. It’s where you see the resilience of the working class, the quirks of human nature, and the daily improvisation of people just trying to get by.

So, if you’re a Nigerian living in Dallas and you haven’t yet braved the DART system, fix it. Your American story isn’t complete until you’ve dodged a talkative stranger, witnessed a fare-dodger in action, and sighed in frustration as your bus disappeared around the corner three minutes early.

This is the real America, my friend.

Welcome to it.

Catch you on the next one!